Poor communication is a basic cause of conflicts within any relationship. When you move poor communication into a relationship where a couple is living under the same roof together and Saving a marriage is at the top of the priority list.

When you say one thing but mean something else that is poor communication. Poor communication is not only saying the wrong thing or saying the right thing the wrong way. Sometime poor communication is not talking at all.

In a relationship frequently one partner expects one thing abut because of misunderstanding they receive something else. Even our motives can be misunderstood which causes others to misjudge us.

The key to a happy marriage is better communication. To understand communication correctly we need to identify what communication is not.

Communication is not
• Talk
• Making a point
• Explaining an idea
• Complete until there is agreement and a plan

Communication is
• Making your feeling be understood
• Making your idea be understood
• Making your intention be understood

Communication does require conversation. My husband jokingly said one day to a friend, “I told my wife 20 years ago that I loved her; if I ever change my mind I will let her know.” If he never told me in 20 years he loved me, I just might not understand he loves me. I am glad to say he tells me daily that he loves me. I do understand he loves me.

Men generally speak facts while women tend to speak feelings. There have been many comedies built around this very theme. Both need to take the time to truly understand what the other is communicating and also to understand each others point of view. Many marital problems could be prevented with just a little understanding from both partners.

Sometimes we get so caught up in wanting people to understand us we never stop to hear what they have to say and understand where they are coming from. Our goal in conversation should be to listen more than we talk.

To build trust in a marriage both partners need to maintain open and honesty in communication. A lie is a lie. There are not big lies and little lies. There is no such thing as a white lie either.

It does take time to communicate. Sharing and learning about each other is vital to a healthy marriage. Saving your marriage is a benefit when you open up the channels of communication.

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