Posts | Save a Marriage Now

It All Comes Down To Communication In Marriage

By admin on Sunday, October 17th, 2010 | No Comments

Communication in marriage is vitally important to keep your marriage on the right track. If you can’t speak to each other you will not move forward. How do you reinvigorate your communication skills with your life partner?

Have you stopped asking because you think you already know the answer? Or are you so convinced that you communicate well that you finish your mate’s sentences? Sometimes we forget to communicate because we get in a comfort zone that can kill a marriage.

Do you remember when you first met? If you lived at a distance, chances are you ran up quite a large phone bill (or spent a lot of time chatting online). Then after you moved in together, you could talk for hours about nothing.

But over time, the conversations became shorter and less enjoyable. Here you are with those one word exchanges: “Dinner?” “Sure.” “Burgers or chicken?” “Chicken.” You know how it goes.

To change this monotony, you both have to admit that it’s time to re-start your relationship. You may need to declare a TV-free hour before and during dinner. Sit down at a table with real plates and act like you’re dining at a fine restaurant.

Candlelight is a good idea to set the mood. Turn off the cell phones and have a real conversation about each other’s day. During dinner, you aren’t allowed to discuss anything controversial or disagreeable. It’s as bad for digestion as it is for renewing communication.

Another way to reconnect is to do something that’s new for both of you. Take ballroom dancing lessons. Sign up for a double tennis league or couples bridge night. Join a nature hike group. Any activity that is new to both of you will naturally cause more discussion as well as give you a shared experience.

Pledge to be better listeners. One reason communication shuts down is that the speaker doesn’t feel that the partner is really listening. Agree to have a time when each of you listens to the other.

Whether or not you care about football or home decorating, listen to your partner’s interests. You can practice this listening skill by agreeing to pay complete attention and say nothing for at least five full minutes.

You can also use this approach to listen to your partner express a concern or disagreement for five minutes without arguing or disputing, then have your chance to be heard for five minutes.

If you don’t agree after both of you speak, then agree to delay making the decision until tomorrow. Developing the ability to communicate even when you disagree helps make your respect for one another grow and fortifies your marriage against controversy.

To learn how to communicate effectively with your husband or wife again, you will need a relevant guide. Save My Marriage Today has a range of online courses designed by experts. They are all online and can be worked on in the comfort of your own home.

Click Here to see what Save My Marriage Today can do for your marriage.

Technorati Tags: communication in marriage, Marital Advice, Marriage Help Books, marriage repair, save a marriage

Has the Sex in Marriage Lost its Spark?

By admin on Saturday, October 16th, 2010 | No Comments

Sex in marriage is somewhat of a taboo topic. Not many people talk about it, and not many people tell the whole truth when they do discuss it. The truth is that sex and intimacy is one of the most important aspects of a marriage. Without it you can very quickly lose your connection with your spouse.

Once upon a time, you could barely keep your hands off each other. Red lights didn’t last long enough to complete the soulful kiss. Just the anticipation of being together was mind-boggling.

But over time, getting together became just another item on the to-do list. Can you spice up a stale marriage? Of course you can if you’re both willing to turn up the heat. You’ve allowed too much of life’s issues to crowd out your enthusiasm for the relationship.

Work stress, commuting, finances, children or career disappointment can be the slippery step to pushing relationship to the back of the line of priorities. You have to agree to make time for one another.

That means private, uninterrupted time. To get back on track, you may have to take a long weekend away from home, phones and other distractions. Check in at a romantic bed and breakfast where there isn’t much else to do besides hang out together.

Or reserve the honeymoon suite at a hotel out of town and don’t open the door except for room service. Part of your relationship rut came from too many demands and too little alone time, so change that for the weekend.

Getting back in touch with each other in an “away from it all” environment lets you focus on being together. Consider scheduling a couples’ massage in a romantic location. The relaxation and comfort, not to mention those plush bathrobes, can give you new ideas after returning to your room. Or buy massage oil and give a massage to each other.

Before leaving your weekend getaway, go out for coffee and calmly discuss some of the routines that have deepened the relationship rut. You want to make sure to avoid repeating those when you return.

One biggie is a television or computer in the bedroom. Turn off the electronics if you want to turn on your partner. Once you get home, there’s a risk that you’ll get wrapped up in the busy routine whiles sex goes back to a “passing in the night” experience.

You may not be able to take vacations alone when you have children. But you can sneak away for a weekend periodically. Consider it marriage insurance – the best way to keep your relationship alive and strengthen your bond.

You have to agree to take time for each other. A regular weekly date night is important, even if you just go out to dinner. It’s part of reconnecting as a couple and feeling that your relationship deserves nurturing.

These are just the basics of finding that spark for sex in marriage again. There is a lot more to learn and possibly more that you and your spouse may need to work on to redevelop the intimacy that you once had.

What you need is a well written guide to help you through the steps needed to get out of the no sex rut. Go to Save My Marriage Today for all the answers.

Technorati Tags: intimacy in marriage, keep your marriage, marriage help, save a marriage, Sex in Marriage